Nine car loads of ... STUFF ...

One U-Haul rental for the ... BIG STUFF ...

23 rubbermaid containers, nine milk crates ...

(The toys, FYI, are actually G-rated, parent-approved, old-school toys such as My Little Ponies and Barbies and Star Wars figures. Geez. What were YOU thinking?)

... and an indeterminate number of backpacks, duffle bags, shopping bags, bags of bags full of STUFF ...

One trip to an undisclosed dumpster location to throw STUFF out ...

One positively disgruntled, and a second perfectly confused cat ... both thoroughly unimpressed at being locked being bars while STUFF is being moved around ...

One EPIC garage sale to offload a vast collection of no longer needed or wanted STUFF ...

(Stay tuned for the story of the guy who rode off with the California king-sized mattress ... on a bike ... ) ...

One desk, one dresser, one BBQ, one bicycle, one book shelf, one trunk and two china cabinets, comprising the group of LARGE STUFF, pushed, pulled, wheeled or ridden ...

... down a 100-metre long hall ...

Seven dollars paid to rent a hand trolley for the specific and disagreeable task of hauling SKELETON STUFF down said hall ...

No fewer than several dozen trips hauling A WHOLE FREAKIN' LOT OF STUFF up three flights of stairs ...

One hair-ripping-out room full of the frustrating, never-ending LEFTOVER STUFF, magically appearing AFTER the previously mentioned car/uhaul/hallway trips ...

(... and if my coach even DARES to mention the one workout I missed over the the course of the weekend ... )

AND one bleach-soaked, fridge-moved, stove-pulled-out, carpet-steam-cleaned, down-on-your-hands-and-knees-scrubbing mouldings, spic-and-span, previoulsy-tenanted townhouse DEVOID OF STUFF ...

(It's amazing how much bigger a place looks when I, and my accompanying STUFF, are not inhabiting it ... )

Ladies, and gentleman of the Intertubes, welcome to the Bartcave ...

Wait, something isn't right. Oh yeah ...

NOW, welcome to the Bartcave ...

Sigh. I'm going to go take a nap for a week. Then I am joining some Ashram in India that eschews materialism and promotes simplicity and detachment from possessions.

But only if I can bring some of my STUFF with me.